i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
