I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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