just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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