We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
