Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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