Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
