another moral hangover. fuck.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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