Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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