he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
