please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
