I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize