This show inspires me to have sex in space
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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