somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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