You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
