the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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