Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
