I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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