You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
