Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
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im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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