my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We left an ass print on the piano.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
