I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
