Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
