Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
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He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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