This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
