brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
