Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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