What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
