The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
