Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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