im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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