What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
