well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
