so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
