I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
