I'm gonna have a badass scar
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Enjoy the penises
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
