I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
