He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
