I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
