So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
