We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Banned from zoo.
Again?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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