No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
