I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I want to be your penis for a week.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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