I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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