absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
