and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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