I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
