I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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