so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
