i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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