Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
