So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
