I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
