That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
