fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
