why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize