Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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