i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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