just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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