Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You're a waste of cheezeits
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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