therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I will be naked everywhere
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
