Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
