I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
And then he peed in my hair
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