What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Is Oprah even human
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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