I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
