im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I had to cum in my sink.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
